5 People Who Secretly Control You Life

Your Heroes

Heroes are often one-dimensional – whether they’re real or fictional.  We tend to put people on a pedestal and think because they are amazing in one sense that all their other capacities are flawless.  But they’re people just like we are, and they have their own failings.  When you emulate heroes, you have to be very careful not to absorb the bad with the good.

Your Nemesis

It’s easy to play the sucker to a nemesis.  Often, you’ll generate huge amounts of stress trying to have what they have, and you can make same pretty stupid decisions in the name of keeping up with them.  You can become extremely petty, burn bridges and actually have a negative impact on the people around you in your quest to never let your nemesis get the best of you.  You become reactive (to their decisions) instead of proactive (making your own choices).

Your Parents

Since our parents are the first authority figures we come to know, we tend to put them on a pedestal early in life, thinking they know absolutely everything about life.  That means some of our basic beliefs, opinions and life direction are stamped from their mold.  But their mold may not even be remotely right for our lives, because it carries the baggage of their individual lives (and that of their parents).

Sometimes this means you’re conditioned to believe in scarcity. Sometimes it’s cynicism, or racism, or sexism, or whatever kind of -ism dominated their formative years.  It’s hard to stomach, but in some cases we may have had parents who just plain indifferent to creating a fulfilling life or sadder yet, wanted to be better role models but just didn’t know how.  Their limiting beliefs may – when transferred to you – be what’s holding you back.

Your Partner

Because we spend so much time around our partners, and we want to be on good terms with them, we can begin to experience entrainment – we are likely fall into the same patterns they have.  If their standards are not as strong as ours, that can bring us down to their level.  (And it works both ways – you might be the negative force on them!)

This can create a strong negative pattern that’s hard to break, because once the two of you have relaxed your standards, it’s more difficult to generate the desire to snap out of it and break free.  Your new, lowered standards become “normal.”  The two of you may not even realize that you’re drifting downward.

You

The mirror can be the scariest thing in the world if you’ve been conditioned to look down on yourself (whether by parental criticism, bad experience, or those damned beauty magazines).  You look in the mirror and you judge yourself – you’re not pretty/thin/attractive enough, you’re a loser/fraud/sham, you’re not anywhere close to where you wanted to be at this point in your life.  Every failure you’ve experienced (or imagined!), every harsh word or insult you’ve received, it all comes back to you in a rush of depression as you see that tired face in the mirror.

What Does Independence Mean? – Challenging Assumptions

Freedom By Tatsu Subaru

The following is a post from another blog of mine that I abandoned long ago. Maybe I will revive it one of these days. Today being the Indian Independence Day, it was a cerebral revisit to the same thought pattern again.

As human beings born and raised in a society we are bound by assumptions, prejudices and the values of our forefathers, family and peers.
Most of us do not realize that the way we think, decide and act upon all matters (whether trivial or complex) are heavily influenced by:

1. The morals and the value system of our parents.
2. The peer environment that we had been exposed to as kids.
3. The religion we believe in just because we were born in a family that practices that religion.
4. The culture of the community/nation we were born in.

Some people would say that the above mentioned factors are what define us as an individual.

I happen to have a different view on the same:
I believe that all the above factors do not define you or me as an individual. Rather, these influences change a kid’s beliefs to align them with that of a group, society or cult. Original and free thinking is severely impacted by the way we are raised and the education system we have been exposed to. For example, a kid born and raised in a terrorist outfit would probably hate the western world all his life without even questioning the beliefs and education he was imparted.

While the above is a more extreme example, it does clarify that the way you and me have been schooled and raised, trains and conditions us to be a part of “The Group” rather than promoting free will and original thinking.

Most of the stuff we like, the choices we make, our likes and dislikes are actually not what you or me could really call “My Preferences”. These “preferences” were formed of time and influenced by the moral and the value system we were exposed to.

The icing on the cake is when we realize that we never had the independence or the discretion to choose this system of morals, values and religion by ourselves. This is what we were taught and always believed in. Some of the most important beliefs we live and swear by were never chosen or questioned by us!!

This is what I like to do:
Being naked. Not literally of course. We are not naked when we take of our clothes. We would still be wearing our assumptions. beliefs, faith, religion, morals and values. If you could take these off for an hour and spend that hour thinking like a free man who is unaffected by any external influences and uses logic and rational approach to think for himself/herself, take decisions by self and not succumb to peer, family or societal pressures.

Then, you would have the satisfaction of living life at your own terms and making your decisions.

Remember… Independence Is Challenging Assumptions!!